


Enneagram

by Yotsubadancesintherain5



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-05 14:22:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16369238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yotsubadancesintherain5/pseuds/Yotsubadancesintherain5
Summary: The basic desires that shone through.





	1. The Advocate

**Author's Note:**

> "I want to feel the transformation, the melody of reformation."
> 
> -Sleeping at Last, One.

Homura looked upward at Kyubey, through the condensation falling down her glasses. She shivered at the choice she was going to make, both with fear and anticipation.

It wasn’t right for Madoka to have to fight alone. It wasn’t right for them to lose Mami just before everything was going to be okay.

It wasn’t right for her to stay by the wayside, protected, when she should have jumped into the fray. The thoughts crept along her weak heart and pulled horribly.

She was going to make it right, turn this sorrow into victory.

“Make me a magical girl, Kyubey.”


	2. The Hostess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sweetheart, you look a little tired, when did you last eat? Come in and make yourself right at home, stay as long as you need."
> 
> -Sleeping at Last, Two.

The tea boiled hot, and Mami drew out one teacup from the cupboard. She poured out the tea and added in milk and sugar, watching the milk mix and the sweet grains sink below the liquid and rest at the bottom.

There was a plate of ginger cookies on the counter and she carried her drink and treats on a tray, setting them down on the living room table.

Mami settled down at the table, and looked about her apartment. It felt rather empty without her friends here with her, chattering and chewing on sweet ginger cookies, asking her questions about what it meant to be a magical girl.

Not long ago it was always quiet, and the crushing loneliness was swept away with a smile, and the guilt of her parents buried deep, deep down below. Nobody knew the burden of fighting Witches, or of finding those she rescued too late, their cries burnt into her mind.

Now, there were others that fought for this city, and filled her home with lively chatter, and knew the pain of fighting Witches, the pity and horror that came with seeing those wretched creatures.

It was so good to not be alone.


	3. The Professional

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time I see an image of my brokenness  
> Utterly worthy of love
> 
> Sleeping at Last, Three

Regret poured out over her, the selfishness that she had tried to conceal overtaking her throat and clogging it up, as Kyoko’s words filled her head until it felt as though it would burst.

Sayaka stumbled, hating her weakened knees, the idea that her legs were mere tools to transport her corpse body from place to place. Without this power there would be nothing left, a soulless husk left to rot alone.

She clung to the memory of Mami, the epitome of grace and valor, never faltering; until she was caught off-guard and was cruelly ripped away from them.

Sayaka shook her head. The sound of crunching bones would soon follow with this memory.

She recalled Kyoko’s story as she walked aimlessly, a story of a heroine that lost everything. She chided herself for thinking that her pain could compare to Kyoko losing entire family, that there was nothing could allow Sayaka to grieve this lost love.

But she had wished for his hand to be better, and for a brief moment knew happiness after the loss of Mami. She had saved Madoka and Hitomi and so many others from the Witch, and felt like she could take on anything in the unjust world.

And despite finding out what had happened to her when her soul left her body, Madoka stayed. She comforted Sayaka in her grief, and reached out to her when the task of being a protector was too heavy to carry alone.

Sayaka wondered, if Kyousuke would extend this same kindness, when he had never said a word to her after she visited him so many times; if it was good to be with someone that deemed her that unimportant.

She healed his hand. She protected this city as well as she could. Maybe she’d done enough.


	4. The Aristocrat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I'm hiding behind metaphor - maybe my heart needs to break to be sure  
> One day I'll wear it all on my sleeve, the insignificant with the sacred unique.
> 
> Sleeping at Last, Four

In these two, Kyoko could see the person that she used to be. It even befell that they had been under the tutorage of Mami, until she was cruelly ripped away.

It was foggy now; Kyoko couldn’t remember her last words to the one that used to be her teacher. There wasn’t any worth in protecting this city if she couldn’t protect her own family.

She remembered the anger between then, that Mami lost her family too. But in the rawness of her grief she thought it was better that they were to die together in an outcome out of their accord.

It was better than stumbling upon them. Seeing the struggle, in the small face of her sister and her mother’s hands frozen upward to deflect any attacks on her or her younger daughter. Finding her father and wondering if he did this out of regret or if through some innate part of her wish once again had caused this.

Knowing now, what Kyubey was, she wondered if the terrestrial freak had anything to do with it.

Some selfish part of her was glad that Mami didn’t know any of this. The selfish part thought it was better that she died before knowing any of this, and that she didn’t die alone. Magical girls, orphan girls, didn’t receive flowers on their graves, but there were people that mourned her.

 Kyoko didn’t remember her last words to Mami, but she remembered the good times, some far-off dream that was hers alone. Someone that knew her life before, and held her comfortingly as she let out all of her grief that didn’t seem like it would cease.

She wondered when she had forgotten those moments, and whether it would’ve changed anything if she stayed.

Maybe if she had kept those memories closer she could’ve reached Sayaka; but maybe it was all futile. Just as futile as trying to bring Sayaka back and she had brought Madoka along too, into the danger. There were too many regrets for her shoulders.

She had fallen, every part of her knew she was dying and the Earth rumbled around her. A Witch that stood in front of her, transfixed and broken.

It wasn’t good; they should’ve all left together. But death was upon her and she could give comfort to this Witch.

Kyoko called out for Madoka to be safe, and reassured:

_You’re not alone._


	5. The Problem Solver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally feel the universe expand  
> It's hidden in heartbeats, exhales  
> And in the hope of open hands
> 
> -Sleeping at Last, Five

The world was larger than anything she’d ever known, anything she’d ever dreamed. Picture books of planets and stars and comets showed the smallest trickle in an ocean of light. She knew the following of the stars, where they would land upon the Earth, and the hope of one that held the star in their hands.

It was the same hope that rested upon a girl that first got her Soul Gem, a hope that would decay as the Wraiths became too much, life became too much, and all that adolescent anger and despair and grief would cultivated into the swirling darkness of the Soul Gem.

She would take it away, and lead them to peace. There was a sadness tempered in their arrivals, lives cut too short, but it was a blessing for them to no longer feel pain.

There were so many girls, from all walks of life, and she loved them all dearly. They were curious, questioning, _Who are you?_ _Where is this?_ and _Did I do good with my life?_

She would say, _Yes, you did,_ it was never easy for them to take on this enormous burden. It was never easy to provide hope, but they had fought on until the last moment, and deserved this respite from the monsters only thought to only exist in nightmares.

Sometimes they would think of those they left behind, and melancholy would cross their face, wondering about their loved ones. She shared in this sadness, that she could never grow up but it helped to look upon the Earth and showed them, and herself, that the ones they loved continued on.

She thought of her mentor, the one that experienced loneliness that could crush her soul but kept going with a smile and elegant air about her. She was still alive, still providing hope and shielding the everyday people from the horrors of the Wraiths.

She thought of her dear friend, satisfied with one last look upon the boy she sacrificed her soul for, and knowing that he could find happiness with Hitomi. It was hard to let go, always was hard to let go, and she did it with grace.

She thought of the girl that she knew all too briefly, and yet knew very well, the girl that shielded her feelings with abrasiveness and offerings of treats.  She renounced her mercenary-like ways and worked to provide peace for the ordinary. She didn’t consume as much in this life; perhaps she had filled the void within her.

She thought of the one that worked so hard to save her, twin pigtails and red glasses, a healed heart and eyesight, hair drifting down like a black waterfall. There were bombs and guns and machinery to fight for her life, and she had gone onward and onward, nearing forever, and only until the last moment did it nearly break her. There always was rain, cascading down into water that spelled disaster, and perhaps now the rain could soothe her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this,


End file.
